Medical Adventures
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Pre-TPM. (Obi-Wan is 13) Non-slash. An infection leads to a lengthy stay in the hospital for Obi-Wan.


TITLE: Medical Adventures  
  
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)  
  
RATING: PG  
  
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM. (Obi-Wan is 13) Non-slash. An infection leads to a lengthy stay in the hospital for Obi-Wan.  
  
FEEDBACK: Yes, please.  
  
ARCHIVE: Ask me first.  
  
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/  
  
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.  
  
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Medical Adventures  
  
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Qui-Gon Jinn walked in to his padawan's room. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Obi-Wan's forehead. Still hot. The fever had taken hold a few days ago without warning. The master had let it go this far, but with still no improvement, he knew it was time to take the boy to the healers. Obi-Wan would surely protest.  
  
He gently roused the boy awake. "Obi-Wan, wake up."  
  
Eyes filled with sleep began to open. "Master...go away...no mush right now...sleepy."  
  
"Obi-Wan, I am not here to hug you. I am here to take you to see a healer. Your fever is not any better. We need to get you checked out."  
  
"No...cold hands...don't let him near me..."  
  
"You are in no shape to argue with me. Can you walk or do you need me to carry you?"  
  
The young Jedi pulled himself upright and then fell right back down.  
  
"Okay, I will carry you."  
  
~*~  
  
Healer Terran Va'lor greeted the pair in the waiting area of the temple hospital. Obi-Wan was curled up in a chair moaning about cold hands and mushless masters.  
  
"What's wrong with him, Qui-Gon?"  
  
"I'm not really sure. He's had a fever for three days now. It's constant and I haven't been able to bring it down. I figured it was time I brought him in here."  
  
"Good idea. We'll take a look at him. Run the usual tests for viruses. Would you like to come back with him?"  
  
"I'd better. He's already told me to keep you away from him. If he comes around and finds only you, it could get ugly. You know how he is when he's here."  
  
"Ah, yes. Yappy."  
  
"Well, he's like that everywhere."  
  
One of the hospitals younger healers came out to help move Obi-Wan to an exam room. An apprentice, Healer Kresh Sarem was new to the medical arena. And when Terran introduced him as his padawan, Qui-Gon offered a confusing look. Kresh was young, but not a newly turned apprentice. Perhaps sixteen or so. Qui-Gon asked Terran about him on the way back to exam.  
  
"Kresh was one of the few who found out a bit late that his strong area was in medicine. He was a padawan to Master Kaim until a week ago. The council spoke with them both after Kresh struggled with a few missions. His saber skills were lacking, despite Master Kaim's long and patient training sessions. However, during those missions, it was discovered he had a talent for healing. And to make a long story short, they transferred him and asked me if I would like to train him."  
  
"I thought your training days were over."  
  
"So did I. And after seeing the um...entertainment that Obi-Wan brings to your life, I never really had interest in taking another padawan."  
  
"Entertainment?"  
  
"What would you call it?"  
  
"Insanity."  
  
"I suppose Brazo can attest to that as well."  
  
"Brazo is better now. As long as he's not left alone with Obi-Wan, things are safe. Anyway, congratulations on your new apprentice. Under your care, I know he'll do well."  
  
Kresh had positioned Obi-Wan on the bed while the masters were talking. Obi-Wan opened his eyes for the first time since arriving at the hospital. He didn't recognize the face in front of him. The brilliant copper colored eyes and the dark skin confused him.   
  
"Healer Terran, I think you've been out in the sun too long."  
  
Kresh replied with a smile. "I am Master Terran's apprentice."  
  
"Oh no, more cold hands? Don't touch me. Where are your gloves?"  
  
The young healer laughed as he began scanning Obi-Wan's body for viruses. A few minutes later, Terran approached a more alert Kenobi and put a hand on the feverish forehead. The cold hand felt oddly comforting to his hot skin and for once he didn't pull away from the touch.  
  
"Obi-Wan? No complaints about my hands? Are they not cold enough?"  
  
"Feels good...for once. They don't seem as cold. Have you been wearing those gloves you bought or are your hands just getting warmer naturally?"  
  
"My hands are as they usually are. You're just hot so it feels a bit different. Are you having any pain anywhere?"  
  
"Just hunger pains. But that's because my master doesn't feed me."  
  
Terran looked at Qui-Gon, who responded by shaking his head and sighing. "I do feed you, Obi-Wan. You just don't eat it."  
  
"It's not digestible, Master. Like chewing on a rawhide."  
  
"Ignore him, Terran. The fever has clouded his mind."  
  
Kresh leaned forward to remove Obi-Wan's tunic. Terran stopped him. "Hold it, Kresh. Put your sunglasses on first."  
  
Obi-Wan was not amused. "Is that another pale joke?"  
  
Both healers turned to Qui-Gon. "Don't look at me. I take him outside. It's not my fault that his pale body can blind even the sun. Perhaps we should consider artificial tanning."  
  
"Maybe we should just leave my tunic alone. Everyone stop staring at me. I feel horrible."  
  
"But you still run your lips."  
  
"Master, can't you take pity on me just once? Treat me like you do all those strays that you pick up."  
  
While the pair bickered, the healer apprentice discovered the reason for the fever. "Infection of the kidneys. It showed up nicely on the scan."  
  
"Very good, Kresh," said Terran. Then he looked toward Kenobi. "Obi-Wan, have you been able to eliminate okay recently? The last few days?"  
  
"Eliminate what? I didn't kill anyone."  
  
"No, have things been flowing okay?"  
  
"Flowing? No I haven't been on a boat recently."  
  
"No no, have you..."  
  
Qui-Gon cut in. "Padawan, have you pee'd recently?"  
  
"I don't think that is anyone's business but my own. Do I ask you questions like that, Master?"  
  
Terran tried to hide his smirk but was unsuccessful. "Obi-Wan, this is important. Normally I could care less about this private matter, but a kidney infection can be serious. Have things been normal in that area?"  
  
"That area. Oh that's nice. Yes, things have been fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Thank you. Can I go home now?"  
  
The master healer put a hand on his apprentice's shoulder. "Kresh, assign a room to Kenobi. Doesn't have to be a private one. We'll have to run some more tests and then get him on antibiotics. The infection could just be setting in which is why other than the fever there are no symptoms. Let's see if we can catch it before it progresses." The younger healer left and Terran regarded the slim Jedi who was now curled up on the exam bed. "Obi-Wan, I'd like to keep you here and treat this before it gets worse. We are preparing a room for you. Would you like to get anything from your quarters?"  
  
Wanting no part of another stint in the hospital, Obi-Wan began protesting. "Oh no you don't. I know how you healers work. This is just a ploy to find a guinea pig for your new apprentice to experiment on. He needs to learn, so he pricks me with every needle and hypo-spray he can find. No thank you. I'll be leaving now. Master, help me up."  
  
He went to get off the bed. Legs hit the floor and in the weakened state he was in, he landed flat on his face. "Okay, maybe I'll stay just for a little while."  
  
Qui-Gon and Terran picked Obi-Wan up off the floor and helped him to the edge of the bed. The healer wasn't in the mood for lecturing the boy, but he needed him to realize how serious this could be if untreated.   
  
"You will stay until we get your inner self healthy and happy again. You haven't seemed to have lost your ability to talk, so you aren't dying. But this must be treated and treated carefully, Obi-Wan. It will only get worse if we don't help you. It may still get worse while we are working on you. You might feel worse tomorrow. I'd like to have you here in case that happens."  
  
"Okay, but no turning the apprentice loose on me. I know how padawans can be. I used to be one."  
  
"You still are one," Qui-Gon cut in.  
  
"Oh, right. Okay, take me away."  
  
~*~  
  
The following day, Obi-Wan did wake up feeling worse. His fever was up and he felt a burning when he used the bathroom. So he flatly refused to go. Terran was in to check on him first thing in the morning.  
  
"Good morning, Obi-Wan."  
  
"No, it's not. How can you live with the smell in this place? I want to go home."  
  
"Sorry. Ah, fever is up I see. Any other...um...problems?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Good, then I want you to get up and use the bathroom."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Obi-Wan!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Go. Now."  
  
"You sound like my master."  
  
"For the time being, I am your master. Go."  
  
"I can't. It...hurts."  
  
"Ah, I see. Well at least you told me. Another symptom we were expecting. It's normal. Today we will start you on antibiotics. They should help that."  
  
"Will I have a roommate while I am here? I really could use someone to talk to. I mean, I could always talk to myself, but that seems just a bit odd."  
  
"Never stopped you before."  
  
"Now you really sound like Master Qui-Gon. Where is he anyway? Why is he not here holding my hand? Caring for me. Telling me everything will be okay."  
  
"I sent him home. We are perfectly capable of keeping an eye on you. So, first things first. Give me your arm."  
  
"NO! You promised me you wouldn't stick me with needles."  
  
"I did not. I promised you what my apprentice wouldn't."  
  
"You're getting to sneaky for your own good. Taking advantage of me while I am ill and sickly."  
  
"Do you want to feel better or do you want to keep talking until you just fade away?"  
  
"Feel better."  
  
"Then hold out your arm. It'll just pinch your skin for a second. And it will begin to get the infection under control."  
  
Obi-Wan slowly uncurled his arm and allowed Terran to inject the first round of medicines. Once he was finished, the boy curled up on his side and ushered the healer away.  
  
"You're done. Go away now. I need rest."  
  
Shaking his head as he left, Terran muttered to himself. "This is going to be a very long ordeal."  
  
~*~  
  
Later that day, as Obi-Wan was stretched out on his bed with a cool towel on his face, his master walked in.   
  
"Good afternoon, Padawan. You look...uh...not very well."  
  
"You left me here with that maniac, Healer Terran. He stuck a needle in my arm and then came back later to force me to eat this poor excuse for food. And I had to drink this fowl juice that he said would help the...um...burning thing."  
  
"Would you just relax and allow people to help you. This is not prison. They are here to help you get well. You know how you feel right now?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do you want to continue to feel like that?"  
  
"No. I know. I know. Okay, I get it. I'm sorry."  
  
"Good. Anyway, I brought you some holo-comics and some clean underwear."  
  
"My boxers?"  
  
"No. Terran said no boxers. He doesn't want there to be any chance of you doing your sexy Obi dance while you are here. You can't do that in normal underwear. And besides, he will be having you dress in the medical gown today after they run several more tests."  
  
"Should I be afraid?"  
  
As if on command, Terran walked in the room. "Hello gentlemen. Obi-Wan I have a new wardrobe for you. Here."   
  
A small, thin fabric robe looking object was placed in the boy's hands. Obi-Wan unfolded it and stared. "Um, where is the rest of it?"  
  
"That's it. All patients wear them. I want you to put it on. The opening goes in the back. Do you need help to the bathroom?"  
  
Obi-Wan looked at his master in desperation. Qui-Gon was not falling for it. "I can't help you here. It's not that bad. At least you'll look like everyone else."  
  
The young Jedi almost snorted in disgust as he wearily made his way from the bed to the tiny bathroom. A few minutes later he came out looking pitiful. Hands clasped around his back trying to keep the gown closed. Skinny legs showing up to the knees. "Is this how you torture your patients, Healer Terran? I can't be seen in this. I have a reputation around the temple. I don't want everyone looking at my...uh...self."  
  
"Padawan, you DO have on underwear, correct?"  
  
"Master, please. Of course I do. But I'm not in the habit of showing them to complete strangers."  
  
"So you will show them to friends?"  
  
"MASTER!"  
  
Terran, watching the whole episode with amusement, finally broke in. "Obi-Wan, back in bed. I want to check your temperature and then run a few more tests. You don't look well."  
  
"If I was well, do you think I would be spending my time in this place? Hello?"  
  
"It's too bad that this infection hasn't affected your vocal chords."  
  
Qui-Gon laughed silently at the comment as Obi-Wan climbed back into bed, holding the gown closed in the back.  
  
"Don't anyone look. NO peeking!"  
  
Both masters shook their heads as Padawan Kresh entered. Terran informed Obi-Wan of the tests they were preparing to run. The boy had gotten suddenly quiet. Feeling for fever, the healer found it to be elevated again.   
  
"Qui-Gon, keep his face cool while we see to the scans here."  
  
Obi-Wan's voice began again. But this time it was an ill-sounding whine. "Master. Don't feel good. I think it's this gown and this place. Making me sick."  
  
"No, Obi-Wan. It's not the gown making you sick. You have to wear it. I know you don't feel well. That's why we want you to rest. But if you keep babbling like this, you'll never feel better."  
  
"I like to babble, Master."  
  
"I know. But sometimes you have to know when to give your flapping lips a rest. Okay?"  
  
A short nod was the only reply. Qui-Gon could tell the fever had really taken hold now. Nothing else could keep the boy that quiet. The master carefully toweled his student's face as the healers continued the tests. By the time they were done, Obi-Wan was sound asleep.  
  
~*~  
  
Several days passed and the infection was not improving. Obi-Wan's fever was up and down. He would have periods where he was bouncing to do anything other than lay in the bed. Then other times he felt so bad and only wanted to curl up and shut everyone out. One thing did manage to keep his attention though, no matter how he was feeling. Holo-soaps. Since he'd had the room to himself, he had free control of the holo-vid monitor. And he quickly found that the only thing on during the day were the holo-soaps.   
  
The Old and the Forceless. As the Sith Turns. All My Padawans. Trolls of Our Lives. Guiding Force. The Bald and the Beautiful.  
  
Obi-Wan had easily become addicted to just about all of them. And visiting him during those hours was the wrong thing to do.   
  
Qui-Gon popped in early afternoon to check on his apprentice. "Obi-Wan, how are you feeling today?"  
  
"Master, shhhhhhh. Padawan Kip just confessed to his master that he hates him because he had an affair with Yodera the troll. This is good. Sit down. Watch it with me. You see, Master Lance was secretly seeing Yodera. He knew his padawan didn't approve, but the man is obsessed with trolls. Icky if you ask me, but whatever floats your boat. So Padawan Kip is getting ready to tell Yodera's husband....yes she is married...that Master Lance is seeing her. It's gonna get ugly soon. You wanna put credits on Yodera? She's been crossed before and has murdered her previous eight husbands. The original sith troll I think."  
  
"Padawan, you shouldn't be watching this junk. It'll melt your brain."  
  
"Then on this other soap, All My Padawans, Master Kyle just found out that he is the father of over fifteen of the pada..."  
  
"Obi-Wan!"  
  
"What? Is it my fault he's been a busy guy? Oh, the next hour is the good one. Padawan Connor had an affair with another padawan while his master had an affair with another master. AT THE SAME TIME! These people have such exciting lives. Master, sit down."  
  
"How about you stick your nose into these holo-books from the classes that you are missing?"  
  
"I am sick, Master. That will only make me worse. Don't you love me anymore?"  
  
"Obi-Wan, stop. I am not hugging you right now if that is what you are shooting at. Yes I love you. But no, you can't leave here. This is a place of healing. So I want you to heal."  
  
"Should I sit and beg too?"  
  
"Not funny. Do you want anything while I'm out? I have to run several errands today."  
  
"No. I don't need anything, Master. Your sick and lonely padawan is fine here with what you've brought. I'll somehow muddle through. I'm a survivor. I'm gonna make it."  
  
"A manipulative monster is what you are."  
  
Obi-Wan smiled and turned his attention back to the holo-soap on the monitor. Qui-Gon said his goodbyes and headed out the door. He greeted Terran with a nod as they passed in the doorway. The healer grinned as he approached Obi-Wan.   
  
"Obi-Wan, you are going to have a roommate today. Finally someone for you to talk to. That should make your stay a little more enjoyable."  
  
"Really?" His tired face light up. "Who?"  
  
And in walked the familiar dark-skinned form of Master Mace Windu. The smile on Obi-Wan's face suddenly seemed to take on more of an evil grin. Like an animal sizing up it's prey. Mace was protesting being forced into a bed. But he also complained of tremendous pain.  
  
The master healer relieved his apprentice of the whining council member and came to stand at Windu's bedside. "Master Windu. We haven't seen you in here recently. But I see from your chart that you are here for the same reason as before. Burns on your head and legs from hot waxing the hair. I've talked to you before about this, haven't I? We have lasers available now for hair removal. Why you insist on using this primitive method is beyond me."  
  
"Someone turned the heat up on the wax without my knowledge," the grumpy man replied. "Just treat me and get me out of here."  
  
"Now, now. Is that anyway to behave in front of a nervous padawan?"  
  
For the first time, Windu glanced at the bed next to his. He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes several times. "You put me in the same room with that boy? The mighty mouth of the south? Flying lips Kenobi? Terran, I could have you demoted for this."  
  
"You forget, Master Windu. You are on my turf now. I have control inside these walls. This is a room for two. Kenobi was the sole occupant. I'm looking at your burns and they are very severe. You will require at least several days under my care. Accept it. Obi-Wan is your new roommate."  
  
Obi-Wan grinned at Mace and shrugged. His eyes twinkling the entire time. The healer tried to reassure the councilor.  
  
"Don't worry. The fever he's been weighed down with these past days keeps him very quiet most of the time. I'm sure you both will get along just fine."  
  
Terran left the room. An aura of amusement surrounding him. Mace looked at the apprentice. The apprentice looked back.   
  
"Good to see you again, Obi-Wan."  
  
"You too, Master Windu. Do you like holo-soaps? The Bald and the Beautiful is on right now. You'd like that one."  
  
"No, I don't care for those shows. The Bald and the Beautiful?"  
  
"Yes. Everyone in that show is either bald or beautiful. You could fit into the first category. Not the second one though."  
  
For the second it took Mace to figure that one out, Obi-Wan was onto other things. "They make you wear that gown thing to, huh? Did they let you keep your boxers on?"  
  
"My underwear is none of your business, thank you."  
  
"Underwear is nothing to be ashamed of, Master Windu. Everyone wears it."  
  
"Yes, but normal people don't discuss it. Why am I having this conversation with you?"  
  
"Because you were the one unfortunate enough to get stuck sharing a room with me. By the way, how is your plum purple speeder? Uh...Betsy? No wait, that was the first one. Um...Lavender Linda? No...hmmm..."  
  
"Passion purple, thank you. And it is my Lavender Lady."  
  
"Oh right. How could I forget. Do any of your lady friends like it?"  
  
"Huh? Who? How do you know about them?"  
  
"I pay attention. You may think all I do it run my lips. And I admit that I do. But I also take in things like a sponge. But what I don't understand is why your girlfriends can't afford more clothes. They all look like they've been shopping at the adult mush store."  
  
Mace scrunched his face, trying to understand. "Adult mush? I know I'll regret this, but what might adult mush be?"  
  
"Well it's hugging. But only adults can do it. At least that's what my master says. Oh and it involves lots of icky nicknames. Like Qui-Poo and Stud Muffin. Sweet knees and Jedi Bear. Disgusting. Master Bren and Master Qui-Gon really gross me out with that stuff. It's just...not natural. Then he comes out and does his sexy master dance for her. She falls for him while I just fall over laughing."  
  
It was at that moment that Qui-Gon strode into the room. Just in time to hear the last part of the boy's conversation.  
  
"OBI-WAN KENOBI!"  
  
Obi-Wan shut his mouth and looked up. "Oh, Master. Hi. Are you here to take me home? Because if you are, I'd better talk to Healer Terran about getting a new roommate for Master Windu. He'll be lonely here without me. And can I watch this next holo-soap before I leave? Please?"  
  
Qui-Gon walked to the monitor and flipped it off. "First of all, no more holo-soaps today. I brought you a study disk. If you are feeling good enough to talk Master Windu's ears off then you can study for a while. I know when the fever gets bad you are not up to it. That's fine. But right now, you seem mouthy. Second, I am not here to take you home. The drugs they are using are not effective enough, so today I am told you'll be put on a stronger medicine. And it might...ah...make you feel a bit out of it."  
  
"I might not be in control of all my marbles?"  
  
Mace couldn't resist chiming in. "Are you ever in control of them?"  
  
"Master is it appropriate for council members to speak to padawans like that? He is showing me no respect at all."  
  
"Get used to it, Padawan. They started on me when I was your age and haven't let up since."  
  
"That attitude is noted, Jinn." Mace replied.  
  
"Just ignore him, Master. To much hot wax on his brain. So I can't go home. Will this new medicine make me feel better?"  
  
Qui-Gon sat at the boy's bedside and lowered his voice. "I hope so. Terran thinks it will. You should be resting. Give Mace a break and rest your eyes...and your mouth. I'll be in to see you later." He squeezed his student's hand, glared at Windu and then retreated from the room.  
  
Obi-Wan gazed at the blank monitor on the wall. "Master Windu, can you turn that back on for me? I can't reach it. And I have GOT to watch The Bald and the Beautiful. I can't believe what happened on that show yesterday. Mistress Cinsio got out of the hospital only to find that her husband, council member Blace Shindu...hmm...interesting name. So similar to...oh, anyway, Blace was seeing a younger woman. And not just any younger woman, the sister of Steevan Bluwool, the radio operator for the temple. And Bluwool is related to King Nick of the planet Albam. And you know what THAT means?"  
  
Mace shook his head and let out a deep breath. "No, what does it mean?"  
  
"It means that I have GOT to watch and see what happens. I'll talk to you after the show."  
  
"I will anxiously await that moment."  
  
~*~  
  
It didn't take long for Mace's sanity to begin to wane. He took great joy in the times when Obi-Wan's fever was overwhelming and the boy only wanted to sleep. But other times, the young Jedi was unrelenting. He was almost at the point of bribing the healers to put him in another room. Begging did not seem to work. Four days after Mace was first admitted, he could take no more. Burns or no burns, he had to make plans for escape. Glancing secretly at Obi-Wan, who appeared to be asleep, Mace pushed his way off the bed and towards the bathroom to get dressed. He returned several minutes later still in his gown. Obi-Wan sat up in bed, grinning.  
  
"What is so funny, Kenobi?"  
  
"They took your clothes too. Just like they took mine. It's to prevent escape. Healer Terran may have cold hands, but he's smart. I even tried hiding my clothes under the mattress. He found them. I think he has a nose for that stuff. How did you get a gown with sabers on it? Do they glow in the dark? My master has boxers just like that. I bet he'd like a gown like that. He would match. My gown has troll heads on it. The healers told me that the gowns for padawans have troll heads. I think they know that trolls scare us to death. So what better way to lead us to nightmares, right? Either that or they got these things on discount. I need to get my hands on one like you have. Do you have boxers that match?"  
  
"What is your obsession with underwear? I am not talking to you about that. I already told you."  
  
"Just making conversation."  
  
"Well, make it about something else. No, on second thought, don't make it at all. You've been talking almost non-stop since I got here. They only time of quiet I get is when your fever makes you feel bad. I don't want to talk to you about underwear. I don't care about the daily events of your master. I don't care about these holo-soaps. I don't care about what your gown has on it. I don't care about adult mush...well, okay I do care about that. But that's none of your business either. I would like to relax so that I can recover and get out of here. So, please don't talk to me anymore."  
  
Obi-Wan frowned slightly as Mace made his way back to his bed. "You need a hug. I think you've been deprived. A hug would make you feel so much better. Can I hug you, Master Windu?"  
  
"NO! Don't touch me."  
  
"But hugs are a necessary part of life. Even Master Qui-Gon is beginning to realize that. The council is in desperate need of hugs. I would be glad to help out in that matter. All except for Master Yoda and Poofy. I don't hug trolls. That's just not right. And Poofy doesn't deserve mush. All that time he spends mocking my master. How do you work with him for so many hours in a day? Doesn't his head hypnotize you with it's swaying? Baaaaaaaaaack and forrrrrrrrrrth...baaaaaaaaack and forrrrrrrrrth...baaaaaack and..."  
  
"STOP TALKING! STOP IT! STOP!" Mace began to frantically press the emergency call button. "Help me. Anyone. Get me away from him. Please."  
  
Terran came running in, flanked by his apprentice. "Master Windu? Are you all right? What's wrong?"  
  
"Terran," Mace replied with clenched teeth and fire in his eyes. "You will remove me from this room or I will...I will...I will...just get me out of here. PLEASE! I can't take this abuse any longer. Get me out of here. NOW!"  
  
"Now, Mace. Perhaps I could offer you something to help you sleep. Help you to relax."  
  
"Chancellor Valium takes that valorum drug to help him relax," Obi-Wan added. "That's what Master Qui-Gon says. It really helps him."   
  
"Obi-Wan, it's Chancellor VALORUM. The drug is valium. Don't confuse the two."  
  
"Oh, right. I always do that."  
  
"HELLO!" Mace was close to the edge. "Remember me? I'm the one who called you in here. Please get me out of here. I don't want a valium or a valorum or any drug. I just want to get away from the padawan from hell. Is that too much to ask?"  
  
Calling his apprentice to his side, Terran whispered to him. "Kresh, let's humor the council member and find him another room. He's beginning to drive me up the wall. I know the council are picky, but all this complaining is too much. He whines about everything. Demanding. Always demanding. I'd send him home if I could. Let's transfer him to Healer Balan's wing. He owes me a favor anyway. Just get the man out of here."  
  
Kresh smiled. "Yes, Master. I shall have him moved within the hour." And he hurried from the room.  
  
"Master Windu. My apprentice will be locating a new room for you."  
  
"Good. Give me my clothes."  
  
"Sorry, since you won't be going far, you can just stay dressed in the hospital attire. The burns on your legs are too severe for the fabric to be allowed to rub them."  
  
"You want me to wander around outside this room, in this?" He pointed to his saber covered gown.   
  
Still watching and listening to everything, Obi-Wan felt the need to chime in from time to time. "People will be jealous of you, Master Windu. You have no idea how popular that little glow in the dark saber look is. Just ask my master."  
  
"NO! I don't want to ask your master. He's as crazy as you. No wonder Yoda put you two together. Nuts. Both of you. At this point, I don't care. I'll walk out here nude just to get away from you."  
  
"Master Windu, please don't do that. My innocent eyes should not be subject to something so frightening. Being witness to troll mush was bad enough. I don't need anything more to disturb my dreams."  
  
"Okay, I'm gone. Goodbye. Terran where is your apprentice? He'd better have found me another room by now. Kenobi, it's been real. No wait, it's not been real. It's been...exasperating. Stressful. Have fun with your holo-soaps and whatever else you do while you are here. Once I am out of this place, I am going on a long vacation. Without the approval of the council if I must."  
  
Obi-Wan turned his head sideways. "That sounds so familiar. Have you been hanging out with Master Qui-Gon? Funny how everyone goes on vacation after visiting with me."  
  
"NO! NO NO NO NO NO! I don't care if I ever see him or you again. I may put in for retirement soon. I just can't handle this stress anymore...I don't know what happened to me. I used to be strong. I used to have the ability to handle anything. Now, I can't even handle a thirteen year old boy. Even if he is the padawan from hell. I give up. I need professional help. I don't know anymore...I can't...I just..." He continued to mumble as he was led from the room. Hysteria was not far off.   
  
Obi-Wan was left alone in the room. It was early in the morning now. Almost time for breakfast. In the time since Mace had left, fever had taken it's toll on the apprentice again and he lay shivering under his blanket, moaning about mush and grumpy council members. Qui-Gon, as had been his routine, was there at early to check on his padawan. Upon entering the room, he immediately noticed the empty bed beside the one that held Obi-Wan. He put a hand on Obi-Wan's forehead, followed by a cool towel that the healers had left bedside.   
  
Obi-Wan opened his eyes at the cool touch. "Master..."  
  
"Padawan. I can see you're not well this morning. The new drugs don't seem to be working. I'll have to speak with Healer Terran."  
  
"Master Windu went insane last night. It was awful. I think he should go see Nev." Words were slurred as the boy struggled to get his sentences out.   
  
"Well, you do have this way of doing that to people. Did he say he was leaving for vacation?"  
  
"Yes. Just like you and Master Brazo. Only Master Bren was strong enough to handle me. Even in my weakened state, the council was powerless against me."  
  
The master reached over to the small table and poured a cup of water. He encouraged Obi-Wan to drink it down. A young healer came in a few minutes later and delivered breakfast to Kenobi. "Master Terran said he'd be in shortly to see you."  
  
Qui-Gon nodded and settled in to wait for the master healer.  
  
He didn't have to wait long. Terran glided in and quickly prepared to administer a higher powered drug to Obi-Wan. "Time to get serious. I don't like using a lot of drugs unless I have to. But nothing seems to be working the way I would like it to with you, Obi-Wan. So, we are going with an even stronger medicine. It might make you drowsy, so I'll have you take it in the evening."  
  
"You mean, I'll feel worse?"  
  
"Well, let's just say you might feel somewhat tipsy. And when you wake up in the morning. You'll have that 'I've been run over by a bantha' feeling. Not the greatest feeling in the world, but I think a few days of this will get us started. Then we can back off and give you a lower dose. Your choice. Pill or injection?"  
  
Obi-Wan was curious. He didn't much care for needles. But he wasn't a fan of taking pills either. "Can I see the pill?"  
  
His hand held out, the healer placed a large red capsule in his palm. To Obi-Wan, it looked the size of a saber hilt.  
  
"Damn! That thing could choke a wampa. It's almost as big as my head. I could never swallow that. Injection please. Master, hold my hand."  
  
"No. There is no pain yet, therefore you don't require mush."  
  
"Oh, right. Silly me. I forgot you enjoy watching me tortured half to death before you touch me."  
  
Terran prepared the injection and without warning poked it into the padawan's arm. The sensation was so soft, the boy didn't even realize that he'd been given it as he continued his rant to his master about mush.  
  
"If I were dying would you hug me? If some dark lord with a red saber struck me down in the corridor of some huge sphere shaped battle station, would you hug me then?"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"Uh, ignore that. Sorry. Please, Master. Just hold my hand until it's over."  
  
They were interrupted by the healer. "Uh, Obi-Wan? It's done. I gave you the injection. You two were carrying on. I snuck it in. Didn't hurt, did it?"  
  
Obi-Wan frowned. "I was trying to get mush. Don't you know how to play along? Now he'll never hug me."  
  
"I wasn't planning to, Padawan."  
  
Terran just shook his head. "As long as I've known you both, I still don't understand you. Obi-Wan are you still seeing Nev?"  
  
"Not right now. I think I pushed him too far in our last session. He said he needed to seek professional help. I think my shrink needs to see a shrink."  
  
"Ah, I was wondering why I hadn't seen him recently. I usually meet him for lunch. The last time we met, he looked a bit high strung. Must have been a post-Kenobi session lunch."  
  
"He's a nut. Mr. Nev makes me laugh."  
  
"I can promise that you do not have the same affect on him. Anyway, enough of this. You rest now. In a little while you'll feel different. Have you ever been drunk?"  
  
Obi-Wan gave his master an innocent look before answering. "Never."  
  
"Well then, this will be a new experience for you."  
  
"But you said you would only give this to me before I went to sleep at night. In case you haven't noticed, it's morning."  
  
Terran shrugged. "Yeah, I know what I said. But sometimes I don't listen to myself. Besides you need get well. I'll see how this affects you. If the side affects are too great, I'll go with my plan of giving this to you at bedtime."  
  
"Healers," Obi-Wan began, "are so odd. Do I get another roommate?"  
  
"No. You are enough of a handful alone. I don't need another insane council member threatening me because of you. Now, if you will excuse me, I have other patients to see."  
  
~*~  
  
An few hours later, with the drug well into his system, Obi-Wan began to feel the full affects. And he was not fond of them. He lay in the bed with his head lolling from one side of the pillow to the other. His eyes open and closed as they pleased. Coordination in his hands was awkward. He tried to grab his cup of water from the stand next to the bed, but only succeeded in dropping it. Water splattered everywhere. "Oh...goodie...Obi's s'makin messes again..." Obi-Wan heard the slurred words come from his mouth. It made him laugh. "This stuff's wild. Makes me feel...whew...s'good stuff."  
  
At that moment, Qui-Gon strolled in. "Obi-Wan, are you all right?"  
  
"Heeeeeey, Qui. What's shakin' man?" he giggled.   
  
"Ah, I see the drug has taken over."  
  
"Want some, Qui-Goneee? Qui-Gone. Where has Qui gone? Qui has gone away. Obi's a funny guy, isn't he, Mah...Mah...Mahstahhhh."  
  
"I do believe that this is a medicine that should be given only at night and with a sedative."  
  
"Naw, s'cool. Terrr...Terrr...Terrr...that man who gave me this stuff."  
  
"Healer Terran."  
  
"Yeah. Tell 'em ta put this stuff on the market. Whoa. I'd buy some."  
  
Qui-Gon buzzed for a healer. Hoping that the one who showed up would be the Terran in question. And a few minutes later, it was.  
  
"Qui-Gon, hello," he grinned.  
  
Obi-Wan wasted no time in getting the healer's attention. "Terr...Terr...Terr...hey, you. Gimme more of this stuff. Obi is one happy pada...pada...pada...whatever."  
  
With an apologetic glace to Qui-Gon, Terran nodded towards the drunken apprentice. "Okay, bad idea on my part to give him this during waking hours. Sorry, Qui-Gon. Tonight, I'll try this again."  
  
"With a sedative? So he's not wandering the temple like this?"  
  
"Good idea," he said as he placed a hand on the boy's forehead. "Fever is okay. Hopefully this is going to work. If so, Obi-Wan, you'll be out of here in another week, maybe."  
  
"You got cold hands, man. Ever heard of gloves?" He paused long enough to take a deep breath. "I'm jus kiddin'. I love you, Terr...Terr...Ter...whatever. You already know who you are."  
  
"Right. Drunk padawans are not a good idea. A good lesson for me. Let me go write that down. I'll be by later." And he was gone.   
  
The spiky headed boy rolled his head towards his master. "I feel horrible, Mah...Mah...Mah...whatever. I mean, I feel good, but I feel bad. S'at make sense to an old man like you? You sure got a lotta gray in that hair. To much stress in yer life." Obi-Wan continued to giggle and ramble on about nothing. Taking a look at the chrono on the wall, Qui-Gon remembered his appointment with Master Yoda. But he could not allow his apprentice to lie here alone in the state he was currently in. With a strong suggestion through the Force, he pushed Obi-Wan towards sleep. The boy tried to fight it, but there was no strength left in his weakened body. Within a few minutes, he was out cold.  
  
~*~  
  
Another few days passed and the infection finally seemed to be under control. The fever was down and Obi-Wan was close to going home. But before he could be released, there was one thing that had to happen.   
  
"Healer Terran, you said I could go home once my fever was better. Why can't I leave?"  
  
"In order to make sure your kidney's are functioning correctly, I want to make sure you can...ah...use the bathroom before you leave. Do you think you can go?"  
  
Obi-Wan pursed his lips together and without much thought answered, "Nope. Sure can't."  
  
"Would you like to try?"  
  
"I know when I have to go. And trust me. I do not have to go. The urge has left me."  
  
"Then I advise you to start drinking fluids. Because you are not leaving here until the urge returns."  
  
"Healer Terran, I can pee at home if that's the problem. We do have a bathroom in our quarters. And right after I do, I'll call you and then spread word through the temple. Word that the deed has been done. Okay?"  
  
Terran shook his head slowly. "Sorry, Kenobi. You are mine until the river is flowing. So drink up. I'll send Kresh in with a pitcher of baja juice for you." And he was gone.   
  
The boy sighed then picked up the monitor remote and flipped on one of his favorite holo-soaps. The Old and the Forceless. He paid little attention to Apprentice Healer Kresh as he carried in a large container of juice and placed it on the table at his bedside, along with a small cup of ice. Obi-Wan's mind was lost in the world of soaps.   
  
That afternoon, Terran was back to visit. He addressed Obi-Wan briefly. "Well?"  
  
"No go, Healer Terran. Sorry. I've downed that entire pitcher of juice. Nothing is happening."  
  
"We'll just keep it going then. I'll bring you another container."  
  
~*~  
  
Two additional pitcher's of juice later and things still were not operating the way the healer wanted them to. "Obi-Wan, is there no urge at all? Have you tried to go?"  
  
"I have tried. Alas, I have failed. It's a good thing this is not part of the trials."  
  
A short knock on the door and Qui-Gon entered. "Padawan. Terran. Well?"  
  
Obi-Wan stared at his master in amazement. "Is that all anyone can say to me when they walk in here? Well? Does anyone care about me the person? Or just my bladder? No, I haven't gone. Although I've had enough to drink to keep a herd of bantha hydrated for a year."  
  
Qui-Gon sat down in a nearby chair. He shrugged. "Well, keep drinking. Something will come out eventually. Either that or you will burst."  
  
"That's a pleasant thought. Thank you, Master. Since you both are not up to helping me leave here, get out. I am a growing padawan. I need sleep. Goodnight."  
  
~*~  
  
It was mid-afternoon the following day and Obi-Wan was well into the holo-soap, As the Sith Turns, when he felt...the urge. It came on suddenly and without warning. And he knew if he got up, there would be problems.   
  
"Oh great. Six gallons of juice later and it finally happens. Um...uh...Healer Terran? Master Qui-Gon? Healer Kresh? Anyone? I need help. Just a little help to get to the bathroom. Hello? Anyone? They are always around when I don't need them, where are they when I do? Master? Just a bit of help to get from point A to point B." He pressed the call button but no one came. So he made a decision. He would make a run for it. Or in a case like this, a waddle for it.   
  
Legs crossed and waist bent, he took a deep breath. Then he was off. A slow and awkward waddle to the bathroom began. Stopping several times on the way to contain himself, he finally made his way into the small room and let the door slide shut behind him.  
  
Terran and Qui-Gon who had paused at the door to watch the event, shared amused glances and waited for the apprentice to return back to his bed. Which he did several minutes later.   
  
"Oh, now you show up. Just in time to laugh at me I suppose. How convenient. So, I went. My kidneys are working. I can go home, right?"  
  
He completed his walk to his bed, but refused to break eye contact with the healer.  
  
"I think so. Just let me prepare the release and Qui-Gon can take you home under strict orders to rest for the next week. No sparring. No running. Nothing that will stress you."  
  
"Good, so I have an excuse to watch my soaps without interference."  
  
Qui-Gon shook his head. "I think not, Padawan. Terran said nothing about avoiding studying. You are already behind. No need to fall further."  
  
The sigh of disappointment escaped and started to Obi-Wan climb back into bed. He stopped when the urge hit him again. "Uh, oh. All that juice is backing up on me now. This is gonna keep me busy for a while. Gotta go!" He raced into the bathroom once again.  
  
~*~  
  
Hours later, Obi-Wan was on his way home. Walking at his master's side, when it came again.   
  
"Master. I'll meet you at home. I think I...uh...should run."  
  
"Terran said no running."  
  
"It's run or disaster. Gotta go. Bye."   
  
Obi-Wan practically ran over several other Jedi on his way to his quarters, but he made it. Just in time. Qui-Gon found him on the couch looking very relieved.  
  
"Feel better?"  
  
"You have no idea. I don't think bladders were meant to hold that much liquid."  
  
"They're not. It's getting late. I want you in your bed in five minutes."  
  
"Master, I smell like the hospital. Can I at least get a shower?"  
  
"Make it quick."  
  
Obi-Wan was showered, dressed and in bed within the hour. He hoped that his visits to the bathroom were over for the night.   
  
~*~  
  
Three in the morning, Qui-Gon heard noises coming from another room. He pulled himself out of bed and checked Obi-Wan's bedroom. Empty. He heard the noises again. They were coming from the bathroom. He palmed the door open to find his apprentice sitting on the edge of the tub, reading a holo-comic and humming happily to himself.   
  
"Hi, Master."  
  
"Obi-Wan, should I even ask?"  
  
"I thought it would just be easier if I spent the rest of the night in here. Seeing as how I've been in here most of the night anyway. It's tiring getting in and out of bed and then sprinting for the bathroom. Wears me out."  
  
"For once, I see things your way. Okay then. Goodnight, Padawan. Pleasant dreams."  
  
"Very funny, Master. This is not pleasant. How would you like it if you had to pee every ten minutes?"  
  
"It'll wear off...eventually. If you need me, I'll be in my room. In a peaceful slumber."  
  
"Normally I would take this time to make a smart comment to your smart comment. But it seems I have to go again. If you will excuse me. My bladder calls."  
  
The door slid closed past Qui-Gon's smirking face. He'd finally found a way to curtail his padawan's incredible ability to talk non-stop. At least for a short time, he would be a peace. Returning to his room, the master settled into a deep sleep. Completely shutting himself off from the sounds of Obi-Wan and his hard working kidneys.  
  
END  
  
12 


End file.
